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Curiosity Can Change Your Life!
By Amanda Gore
How curious are you?
Do you wonder about how things work? Why people
are the way they are? What makes you tick? What
makes people or teams successful? Do you ask a lot
of questions, or talk about yourself or things you
are interested in - whether someone else is or
not!! Do you observe situations, others or life?
Curiosity usually leads to awareness. And
awareness and attention can change our lives. What
we pay attention to is what rewires our brains -
and restores our hearts. We were all born curious!
Remember how often you used to ask "Why?" and how
after a while your parents said, "Because I said
so!" Fortunately for me, I never lost my
curiosity. I am never satisfied until I
'understand' everything! But it's such an exciting
way to live life. For me anyway! There is never a
dull moment for me - everything is an opportunity
to learn.
Of course, I have to be careful of judging what I
perceive, as I don't see reality. None of us see
reality. We all perceive, judge and create our own
reality. But I think curiosity and wondering help
us be more flexible in our thinking. Who really
knows why we do what we do, or someone else
behaves in a particular way - but before we brand
them as 'weird' or worse, maybe we can imagine
several scenarios that may account for their
behavior, and this can change our perceptions and
therefore feelings and therefore the way we behave
towards them.
Think of a teacher who has an 8 year old student
that is driving her nuts! He is so unruly and
difficult to manage that she dreads her classes
with him. This is ruining her work life - she is
full of stress hormones, is not teaching as well
as she could be and dislikes him intensely -
despite her best efforts. She has a choice - to
continue this way or be curious - and wonder what
makes little Johnny act this way. On
investigation, she finds out that he is from a
difficult home - his father beats him and his
mother is an alcoholic. As soon as she finds this
out, what do you think happens?
She immediately feels compassion, has some insight
into what is making him seek attention at school,
be aggressive or defend himself, and in a
heartbeat she changes her behavior. That's the
power of curiosity.
If you are curious rather than judgmental (which
almost all of us are but are either unaware or not
willing to admit!), life becomes an endless
opportunity to learn and grow and help others -
and that leads to a fulfilling purpose driven
life.
Look at your life - pay attention to how you live
it! Imagine what it would be like if you
approached every situation with wonder and
curiosity.
If your child is driving you nuts, wonder what is
driving that. Why are they seeking so much
attention. What have you been doing lately that
might be influencing your child. What has been
going on at school that you may not know about. Do
you know? Have you asked? So many times, we say to
our family or friends, "...but I didn't know that;
you never told me" - to which they reply, "You
never asked me."
Curiosity creates awareness. Awareness gives you
choices.
It pays to ask a lot of questions. At home AND at
work! New research in how the brain works shows us
that the leaders who ask more questions of their
teams and ask what they think will work or not,
and how they feel a problem needs to be solved,
have far more engaged, cooperative and effective
teams.
For social situations, my beloved Aunt Nancy gave
me an invaluable piece of advice. She said,
"Always ask questions and listen to people very
carefully, then repeat back to them some of the
things they said. They will think you are
fascinating!" - and it's true! If you are feeling
shy or awkward (which is just a perception and can
be changed!), start asking questions. Ask "What
brings you here?' or "Where are you from?" or any
question relevant to the situation! "How long have
you been with the company?" is a good one if you
are at work. People mostly love being asked
questions because it makes them feel you are
interested in them. Make sure you REALLY are
interested in their answers though - because it
will shine through you if you are not! And they
will feel uncomfortable around you.
See how curiosity can change your life? It makes
people think you are fascinating; it gives you
choices; it gives you more information that allows
you to change your perceptions, feelings and
behaviors in a heartbeat; it helps you avoid
judging others; it opens up doors of connection
between you and others; it makes you a better
leader, sales-person, teacher, customer service
professional and a better parent. Pay attention to
how curious you are because curiosity can not just
change your life but transform it!
THIS MONTH CONSIDER: How often you ask questions.
And what sort of questions. And how curious you
really are - do you genuinely care about the
person and answers? Choose to be curious rather
than judgmental.
WISDOM OF THE WORD: Luke 11:9-13 "So I say to you,
ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you
will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."
WORDS OF WISDOM: Try asking "What's the best thing
that happened to you all day?" when you greet
people and see how it changes your world - and
theirs!
Amanda is an Aussie international speaker (living
in the U.S.) and an expert on joy and being
connected. Her speaking, writing, and whole life
is committed to helping people connect their
hearts with other people's hearts, and reconnect
their own hearts with their heads! In other words,
Amanda speaks about the emotional intelligence
that makes us more successful at work and at home.
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